A day in the life of a MLB owner.

7 Dec

5:00 AM:Wake up and get out of bed,berate the help and give a well deserved slap in the face for the assistant for letting the wife know about the mistress you just bought a house for.

5:15 AM:Check the bank balance and be glad you live in an oligarchy.

5:30 AM:Pretend to know what the fuck you are talking about when you say “We should trade the fat guy that sucks for 7 first round draft picks.

5:31 AM:After affirming all is well and they will do due diligence while you proceed to the masturbatory chamber to watch Gay porn while also putting millions towards the electorate to outlaw that which you desire.

5:32 Am: With the filthy lust out of the way,you now focus on what is important.How can I make millions more?

2:38 PM: After several employees tell you that no matter how hard you want to get Ty Cobb,it just aint gonna happen, you settle down by just trying to drown the pool boy.

4:45 PM:You make a conference call and you all laugh hysterically at all the free agent signings that were undervalued.

6:01 PM : Dinner time. Maybe a cheeseburger at Wendy’s as you just fucked a future star out of millons but at least you covered your ass.

7:15 PM: It is time for the trophy wife to earn her money. I may be worth a Billion or 2 but at least great looking women are still here.Oh wait,no viagra today.Really I am not so gross that you can’t overlook how lecherous I am?

8:00 PM: Time to go to bed.Sleep fucking great as you have no idea what it is like to be a person who has nothing but college debt and fuck them and fuck all season ticket holders. I got mine.

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3 Responses to “A day in the life of a MLB owner.”

  1. SocraticGadfly April 5, 2015 at 5:55 am #

    Welcome to the world, Mr. Moreno. 🙂

    • SMcKP April 5, 2015 at 6:02 am #

      I was drunk. But I still meant it. Haven’t posted since.

  2. workinmanmf June 28, 2015 at 2:16 am #

    “Putting millions towards the electorate to outlaw that which you desire.” Classic! You should definitely sky point.

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